I havent written anything lately because i havent been growing.
I was looking for the things from the Lord basically once a week (Sunday) instead of looking for things from the Lord on a daily basis.
I think that everyone gets caught in this trap.
I kept convincing myself that it was okay if I didnt pursue the Lord today or spend time with Him because I was busy "doing schoolwork".
Granted, I do study a lot more than I used to, but lets just be honest.
I study for about half the time I say that I am, the rest of the allotted study time I am usually crafting, cleaning, playing, facebooking, texting, talking to Luke or looking at pictures of Luke basically anything to give me a break from my history books.
Its an easy trap to be caught in.
Even though I am doing something beneficial like "studying" that doesn't eliminate God's place and God's time.
Like I said in a previous post, I have been reading Genesis.
Well I am moving at the pace of a snail because I just explained that I have replaced the Lord with other things.
I am in i believe chapter 21.
This is where Isaac is finally born. Sarah and Abraham were 90 and 100 and they thought that this day would never come.
As I was reading, I completely identified with Sarah.
But this isn't a good identification. This is one of those identifying moments when you realize that the way you reason and conduct yourself and your thoughts is completely wrong and inverted.
Lets back it up a little bit.
Sarah was in a leadership position. She was married to the "father of the nations". She had influence over the wealthiest man in the world. That influence was power and she was not afraid to wield it.
So the Lord promised Abraham that he would be the father of the nations, but they were aging and still had no child.
Sarah makes a plan of her own. My guess is that she thought that she was furthering the kingdom along, helping God out, or she just thought that she was really smart.
I think she had good intentions.
Isn't that what happens a lot? we have good intentions, so we act on our whims of a plan and then things kind of explode in our face? okay. maybe thats just me.
Anyway so she has her maid, Hagar, sleep with her husband.
If that doesn't show crazy influence and power, i am not sure what does.
I wonder what Abraham and Sarah's discussion over that was?
So after Hagar conceives Abraham's child Sarah gets upset and wants to kick Hagar out of the community.
Come on Sarah, this was your idea...
Idea backfired.
So moving on, because I think I have already written about that little story...
Sarah has seen God do amazing things.
She saw Him destroy Sodom and Gomorrah.
She got to actually "wait" upon the Lord. When the Lord came down in the form of a man to see Abraham, Sarah got to make the bread and feed the Lord.
The Lord still promised her and Abraham a son.
And of course He fulfills that promise and gives them a son.
So Sarah should be okay right? Wrong.
After Isaac was born, she ordered that Hagar and Ishmael be sent away because she did not want Ishmael to get any of Isaac's blessing.
She literally sent Hagar wandering off into the wilderness.
After Hagar ran out of water, she basically left Ishmael alone in the bushes because she couldn't watch her son die. Then our Lord, who is mighty to save, sent provisions and rescued them.
But.
This was your own fault Sarah!
So we see that Sarah makes her own plans, influences other to do what she wants, and has a little jealousy issue.
I completely identify.
So much more often than not I think my silly little plans are going to work, but they explode in my face. Lately I have been ultra gossipy and our tongues definitely influence people. I have also been definitely dealing with some jealousy issues. How dare I think that I can serve the Lord better than someone else? How dare I discredit someone else because I have to sit on the sidelines and cannot be seen?
I think that we have a lot to learn from Sarah.
She is a representative of waiting upon the Lord. Serving Him while we wait for Him to move.
thats all about I have to say about Sarah.
I was fortunate enough to attend Secret Church with David Platt this weekend.
It was phenomenal.
Our Lord is big and capable.
I will write more about that later when I have processed everything that we talked about.
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