plans.

I honestly do not think that I have ever studied this much before in my whole life.

I kind of like the challenge though.

I don't feel so lazy and I don't just sit around and watch tv all day.... anymore.

Honestly, I love what I'm learning, but it is so easy to get discouraged when I study for days for an exam and I don't even get all of the reading done.

I thought that I was doing better... compared to last semester studywise.

I haven't been waiting until the day before to prepare for an exam (okay... this one time I did and I had to stay up until 3:45 just to get all of my notes read a couple of times. I dont want to do that ever again)

Last year when I was a Communication major, I had to work hard yes, but not like this.

Recently I was complaining to my sister about how much I have to read and how much I study and I am doing mediocre in my classes.

She said that this is the first time I'm being challenged. I kind of agree with her.

So now.... I am going to try this new thing where I study/read a little bit every day.

Crazy I know.

I am starting to realize the value of being on a schedule, putting things into priority and perspective, and planning ahead.

Basically this is another realization that I am morphing into my mother. She is quite the little organizer.

In my quest to prepare for things early, the dorm room is encircled with a chronological timeline of key events in Roman history (written on notecards and taped to the wall). It fits the decor of the room really well.... wait. no it doesnt.

Morgan, roommate, is fine with it. She loves history.

She gets to wake up in the morning and learn something new about Rome every day. Its kind of exciting really.

So because I have been reading every other history book that I own, I have not picked His-story. hahahh. Cheezy I'm aware but I couldnt resist.

I haven't been regularly reading the word.

Again its me trying to fit the Lord into my schedule instead of me working around Him. Classic issue for everyone. I think there may be books written about it.

So.. since I have fallen in love with the history of everything else, I decided to start in the beginning of the Word and read things that I haven't looked at since children's church.

Im in the teens of Genesis reading the familiar story of Abraham and Sarah.

Its a popular story no doubt, but I love catching small details that I had never wanted to look for before. I also love to read the genealogies because I'm a nerd.

But even though its the history written down, there is still application to be found.

Rundown-- God tells Abram (before the name change) that he will be the "father of the nations" and his "descendants will number the stars". Well Mr. Abram is getting pretty old and still no child. The Lord has big plans for Abram and Sarai, but like every other human on the planet they think that God is not working fast enough.

Sarai takes issues into her own hands. I totally relate to Sarai. I am the world's worst at messing up the plan because I have found a better way to do something. If I have the inkling at thinking that I can change the plan and it will be better... I'm going to do it. This backfires in my face a lot because usually the original plan is way better and more people benefit. Don't get me wrong, my new plans have good intentions of benefiting everyone, namely myself, but I continually screw up and ruin things. I do this with the Lord. I'll say... "oh this is a good idea. lets do this God!' I don't wait for his guidance. I dont even ask for His guidance anymore. Thats a problem.

So Sarai decides, with good intentions, that she will let Abram procreate with her maid Hagar. First off, I don't think that I could let my man be with another woman. She was very determined that her new plan was going to benefit everyone. Well... after Hagar conceived, Sarai showed her crazy side and got upset with Hagar and kicked her out of the camp. She was furious with Hagar because Hagar went through with Sarai's crazy messed up plan.

So long story short. Sarai tried to do God's job.

Later on about ten or so years, Sarai and Abram still hadn't had a child. When the Lord told Abram again that he and Saria would have many descendants, Abram said "oh that Ishmael might live before you!" He and Sarai were trying to make God's plan work their way.

I feel like that so often.

I try to reason with God and explain why I just didn't trust Him in the first place.

This is not to say that the Lord isn't sovereign. He knows things before they happen... you know the whole being omniscient thing.

But wouldn't it be easier to trust the Lord's better plan instead of throwing a curve ball?

I think so. The difficult part of that is to wait.

Its a simple but complicated issue of faith.