mild feminism.

I am going to South Dakota tomorrow on a mission trip.
I am going to an Indian Reservation to play with Indian Children.
I am very excited.
I haven't been on a mission trip in a while.

Basically on Sunday, my youth minister said that there were some spots available if anyone wanted to go.
Jesus told me to.

I get back on Monday.
Im really excited.
Im just hoping that I dont get sick... that tends to happen when I leave MS.
Keep me in your prayers.
I am currently at the studio watching Patrick and Sicily work.
They're so efficient.







Life has continued to be crazy.
It seems like something new comes up every day for me to try or a new set of issues to figure out.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my future, well with good reason... I'm 21 years old. I kind of need to start thinking about things.

When I was a few years younger and starting out in college people would ask me
"JJ, what do you want to do? where do you see yourself"
My answer was always either
"eh... I dont know. I just want to have fun"
or
"I want to be a rockstar"

Well. I need to retire those answers and really pinpoint what it is that I want.
Im still just so unsure.
I dont want to be in a job I hate. But on the other hand, I need a job.... period. hah.

In a recent conversation I had with my wise cousin Amy, she and I were discussing this subject.
She asked what I wanted.
I didn't have an answer.
Basically what it all boiled down to was that I have no goals.
No career goals.
I know that I want a family and I know that I want to make things.

Our conversation then stemmed to why as women our first initial goals are to be a Godly mom and stay at home.
Sometimes I want other people, and I also try to convince myself, that I am a mild feminist.
That I can and want to do anything and everything a man can do.
Who am I kidding?
I don't want to be stuck in an office all day.
I want to stay at home and be the coolest mom and wife ever.
I dont think there is any shame to want to be a cool mom and a wife.... not that its happening any time soon. Dont read me wrong. haha.

But as for my future plans... I have kind of wrapped my head around some future plans... and I like what they look like.

For a few years I have completely resisted the notion of being a teacher.
Its safe and exactly what my family wants me to do.
Well the mild feminist and rebel that I am.... haha... has always resisted it so I could be my own person.
That left me in a major where I had no idea what I was going to do after I graduated from MC.
I resisted the mere thought of being a teacher because that is so expected of a woman, especially in the south. Its what basically every woman in my family does.
I just didnt want to follow the pattern.
For some reason I thought I wouldnt feel empowered as a successful woman.
But that is completely false.
Teachers have some pretty good influence.
I plan to conquer it.
So now my mild feminism is shifting into me still being a strong woman, but Im not so selfish and careless about my future.
Now thats a true woman decision.
Making the best choice.


After talking things over with my dad, I feel as if I made a real adult decision and that is going to result in me changing my major to Education.

Im biting the bullet.

It honestly does make sense to be a teacher.
I could make a living.
Summers are free.
It a job with some serious flexibility.
Its not the most glamorous job by any means, but it would put me in a position to be with my kids and my husband. And that is exactly where I want to be.

So I am kicking the mild feminism and joining the education community.

I pray that I get into classes and that they arent already filled up.
Thats my biggest concern.
And I am most likely going to be taking a 5th year Victory Lap.
Im okay with it.
I had zero plans after I graduated any way.

So now I believe I am on the path to making adult decisions.